Gucci Louis Fendi Prada: Basic Bitches Wear That Shit So I Don’t Even Bother

Growing up as a poor girl in the rich world of Newport Beach, then later on the coast of Malibu, I learned the faux importance of name brands. The popular girls & the sorority chicks had the money to wear Gucci, Louis, Fendi and Prada. However, I have never had that luxury. As a child I envied what others had, in high school I resented it, but now I know “basic bitches wear that shit so I don’t even bother.”

No, Kreayshawn did not instill this wisdom upon me, I learned this valuable lesson a while back. Name brands do not make you more special or unique they make you predictable and average amongst people who have money. Yes, name brands probably help your “swag” but so does knowing how to rock any label and having a genuine sense of style, not marketed to you buy some devil who wears Prada from vogue.

I rock everything from “hand me downs”, Goodwill, forever 21, Target, J.Crew to Urban Outfitters. When I do go to chained stores, you’ll probably find me rummaging the clearance section. I get gratification from looking good, getting compliments and knowing how little I paid for my ensemble.

It’s not the brand of clothes that matter, it’s about your individualistic style and that is priceless.

As they wise Kreayshawn says, “all you basic ass hoes out there, man I got a room full of bad bitches, they don’t need Gucci, they don’t need Louis #SWAGGIN”


Don’t Buy a Costume…. Make You’re Own!!!

It’s October BITCHES!!!! The month of my favorite holiday. Let’s be honest Christmas is overrated, Halloween is the real highlight of the year. It’s the only holiday that exceeds the magic of your childhood. As a child you went skitzo over the anticipation of the best sugar high of the year and awesome costumes. As an adult you go skitzo over the parties, candy, alcohol and R-rated costumes.

Being a poor rager meant I had to get a bit creative concerning my costumes. Here are some of my creations. Maybe you can get some inspiration to raid your closet and see what inexpensive creations you can design.

Where’s Waldo? ($10)

  • Red & White Striped Shirt
  • Plain White Beanie
  • Red Material From Old Red Shirts

Cut red material and my gay BFF sewed stripes onto the beanie and voila you have a striped hat & stripped T-Shirt. Top it off with your prescribed glasses or buy some fake ones at the 99 Cent store.

Josie & The Pussycat Dolls: Meow ($5)

  • Cat Ears

Dress in black, draw in some whiskers and paw prints and voila you’re puurty cat.

Obama Girl ($10)

  • Patriotic ribbon
  • Iron on – printing paper

Tie red white and blue ribbon anywhere you see fit. On your head as a head band or around your leg fastened to a sexy garter. Iron on “Obama Girl” to a patriotic colored shirt and voila you’re an awesome democrat!

Nicki Minaj / Leather Dominatrix ($20)

  • Pink Wig
  • Anything (p)leather
  • Lingerie

Honestly you just need a purple wig and an outrageous outfit for this one. The wig is a bit pricey but it’s a $20 investment for any great outrageous occasion.

Zebra ($15)

  • Zebra dress

Put on your best zebra print or buy some from forever 21 or walmart, be creative with the make up and hair and voila you’re an animal but of course we already knew this.

PS: If you don’t have a gay bff who likes to sew, than Goodwill will fill that void and make sure you look amazing despite your penny pinching ways.

Have Fun!